How to Fix Pokemon Go.

"HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles" (hondasfordsvolvo)
07/10/2016 at 23:41 • Filed to: None

So lots of people are stupid. Like reeeeal dumb. So dumb they they can’t put their smart phones away, even when in the driver’s seat of a vehicle.

So naturally a very exciting, addictive, and widely appealing game is causing problems, because of those stupid people. Infact today while exploring with a group of fellow trainers, I witness one of them try to catch a Zubat while driving. Any one who has played Go will know catching a Zubat ain’t easy to start with. Naturally I wanted to punch this friend, but I didn’t. But next time we got in his car I suggested I drive and he can play.

Aaaanyway hears my idea: speed sencers and punishment.

The game already has speed sencers, for example you can not get distance to hatch an egg while moving too fast. You have to be moving at a walking pace.

So let’s employment that tool that is already in place to put a damper on driving while catching ‘em all. The game would do this by simply not allowing the game to work while you are moving at over say 20mph. Even the fastest trainers would have a hard time exceeding that on foot. Know I know what you’re thinking “but Stephen what about stop lights, and traffic. Well if you do exceed this speed limit while the app is open on your phone, the game will lock for an additional 5 minutes, or perhaps the loss of a few pokeballs, or ONE RANDOM POKEMON FROM YOURE INVENTORY! That last one would only take effect after the thrid or fourth offense.

Now this won’t stop everyone, you might even see some of the slowest young drivers ever, and people opening up the app at stop lights, or jammed up traffic. What I suggest you do is let those people rear end you, it will be their fault.

DISCUSSION (36)

Funktheduck > HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles
07/10/2016 at 23:44

I've thought about this but the downside is for people who commute by mass transit. Small sacrifice for most but for places like NY or other big cities that's a big downer.

Sampsonite24-Earth's Least Likeliest Hero > HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles
07/10/2016 at 23:47

How about they work on fixing their servers so the game actually functions every time first before adding in new features thatll cause even more frustration. Also funktheduck has a point about mass transit

HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles > Funktheduck
07/10/2016 at 23:47

I guess but this game is meant to be played while walking. If you need a game to play on your commute there are plenty out there. The whole point of the game play is to make you take the time and go out and explore the world around you.

Birddog > HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles
07/10/2016 at 23:48

Kinja'd!!!

Funktheduck > HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles
07/10/2016 at 23:48

Very true. Counterpoint from company: $

HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles > Sampsonite24-Earth's Least Likeliest Hero
07/10/2016 at 23:50

It was pretty reliable today. For me anyway. I played for like 2-3 hours and it only froze once. While I was trying to catch a Pigeot, but the shame restarted and thankfully have me another chance.

HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles > Birddog
07/10/2016 at 23:52

lol. The funny thing is you could catch a Pokemon that's in the van from across the street.

JQJ213- Now With An Extra Cylinder! > Sampsonite24-Earth's Least Likeliest Hero
07/10/2016 at 23:56

I cannot believe how many people are bitching about servers

It was a FREE game! The servers are being flooded by hundreds of thousands of people trying to play. And the game just came out.

Give it a little time.

Bman76 (no it doesn't need a WS6 hood) M. Arch > HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles
07/10/2016 at 23:56

Speed sensors might be more effective though, lol.

vdub_nut: scooter snob > Funktheduck
07/10/2016 at 23:59

When I load up ingress (made by the same company) on the subway, the GPS freaks out and I can essentially interact with anything within a few miles, as opposed to 40ish meters like normal. It’s great, but like others have said, it’s meant to be played on foot.

Sampsonite24-Earth's Least Likeliest Hero > JQJ213- Now With An Extra Cylinder!
07/11/2016 at 00:01

Because you should expect a game to work out of the box. If the call of duty servers went down in the first week there would be riots. It doesn’t matter if it’s free or not it should work

wafflesnfalafel > HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles
07/11/2016 at 00:02

Or... we could sue Pokemon of North America and the app developer!

JQJ213- Now With An Extra Cylinder! > Sampsonite24-Earth's Least Likeliest Hero
07/11/2016 at 00:05

There would be a lot of upset people. Because they spent $60+ on it!

The servers are overwhelmed. First week of a free game that’s been hyped about for a while. Give it just a little time.

nFamousCJ - Keeper of Stringbean, Gengars and a Deezul > HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles
07/11/2016 at 00:08

I thought about the same. It seems like Pokestops have a pause time with which if youre not stopped nearby they dont work. So basically setting an algorithm that says time spent in area equals more than someone traveling [biking] speed means youre too far away.

On the mass transit people, why should people who take mass transit get more chances for stops and wilds than those in a car? Ban it for everyone. Its about walking dammit.

Amoore100 > HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles
07/11/2016 at 00:51

It’s ok, I’m already one of the slowest young drivers already, kind of. Pulling away from streetlights I try to do it smoothly without revving too high since the engine is cold, leading some friends to remark on the relative pokiness. Then the road gets twisty and they’re begging to slow down. I hate non car people sometimes.

Dusty Ventures > wafflesnfalafel
07/11/2016 at 03:45

This is the far more likely outcome

Nauraushaun > HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles
07/11/2016 at 03:51

I commute 3 hours each day at the moment. Don’t you date take my Go away from me on such a trip!

Nauraushaun > HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles
07/11/2016 at 03:52

Any one who has played Go will know catching a Zubat ain’t easy to start with.

Kinja'd!!!

Wrong Wheel Drive (41%) > HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles
07/11/2016 at 08:00

I think the bigger issue is how different the game is for city dwellers vs those in the suburbs or rural areas. If you are in a city, it makes sense to play while walking around or sitting on a bus or train. However, when you live in a smaller town, you have to drive to play basically. There are no pokemon, stops, or gyms for miles and driving from stop to stop is way more efficient. Sure you can drive and then stop to play, but the problem is there is basically incentive to play while driving since you get more accomplished. Not that I approve of this or think its a valid excuse, but really it is the route of the issue.

Id also worry in general about people playing on foot getting run over by cars. That may end up becoming a larger problem for the game.

zeontestpilot > HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles
07/11/2016 at 08:25

The reason it doesn’t work while driving very well is that the refresh rate of the app is a bit slow. You’ll see Pokemon while driving, but if you’re going faster than 25 mph it’s pretty rare to have them show up to capture.

I think the problem is that people are stopping their cars in the middle of the street to get said Pokemon; and they do so with traffic behind them or at inappropriate times.

Also, your sonar radar in the app, PokeStops and capturing Pokemon only work when they are within that circle.

I plan on stopping at PokeStops on my way home from work, but only if I can do it without effecting anyone else. I need to restock my items, so if I need to I'll park my car, or if at a stop sign I'll check to make sure no else is behind me.

HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles > Wrong Wheel Drive (41%)
07/11/2016 at 08:48

Yeah, when I play I make sure not to look at my tablet while walking or running, if I'm anywhere near cars or heavy foot traffic, but not everyone will excersize such caution.

HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles > Nauraushaun
07/11/2016 at 08:50

The little basturds move around a lot!

HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles > Dusty Ventures
07/11/2016 at 08:52

Unfortunately. Americans love blaming some one else for their bad judgement.

Galileo Humpkins (aka MC Clap Yo Handz) > HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles
07/11/2016 at 09:07

This game is completely lost on me, but the stories I’ve read about people using it when they shouldn’t be and the lengths people are going to so that they can “claim places” (according to one article I read, though I have no idea if you actually claim places) are astounding.

Not to mention the crooks luring people to rob them.

X37.9XXS > HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles
07/11/2016 at 10:45

Obvious

Wrong Wheel Drive (41%) > HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles
07/11/2016 at 11:22

It would help if they add the ability to play with the screen off. Like just have the screen turn on when a pokemon shows up or you tell it to. But the game will still run and make your eggs work. That would both save battery a ton as well as make it safer really. Currently its like walking around with your face buried in the screen which is obviously bad. Its hard to intentionally not look at it when its on.

HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles > Galileo Humpkins (aka MC Clap Yo Handz)
07/11/2016 at 13:39

I feel like 90%of those are bs click bait anyway,